I'm Alive
by hanz242
Summary: Bella is born blind and when Edward moves in next door, suddenly her world is turned upside down. When a mysterious golden eyed man appears at her book signing, she soon realises that her childhood sweetheart ain't so sweet anymore.
1. Chapter 1

I'm alive 

Sometimes there are pointless things you remember so vividly in your mind that you can almost relive that moment. Those are the memories worth remembering. The past is what unwinds and unfolds to tell a story of the person you are now, in this moment. It isn't something you forget because you can, you forget it because sometimes it hurts more than any word-weaver could describe.

My tapestry of my life is dark. It's woven with dark strings of red, black, grey and occasionally gold. Things happen for a reason, although you never quite understand that reason till the story is told.

So I will tell you my story from the beginning to the end. Although it isn't my beginning, it is the beginning of this story; it was the beginning of my life. Not the real beginning; that was on the 23rd of May 1985.

This beginning is the best day of my life.

The day my life changed _forever._

_(Bella's POV)  
_

I was born blind, so sitting under this old oak tree gives me time to sit and imagine how I want the world to be. I knew if I could see the world, I wouldn't appreciate it as much as I do now. I constantly imagine the colours blue, red and yellow. I want to see my Mum's face and see the arms which my dad uses to swirl me around.

I wish to see the stars at night and the sun in the day. I want to see my baby brother and see his little baby fingers that always curl around my fingers. Most of all though, I want to see the future because I'm scared that I'm going to be stuck in this darkness forever, although mommy says I might see one day. I wish she was right.

My hearing is acute so when I hear footsteps padding towards me I am startled. These are not the heavy footsteps of my father, or the soft padding of my mother.

"Hello...who is there?" I say quickly.

"Hi. I'm Edward, I just moved in next door. You're looking right at me. Who are you?" A small soft male voice replies.

"I am? I'm Bella, I would shake your hand if I could see it," I giggle softly.

"Oh, you can't see me? That's a shame. Well I've got green eyes, bronze hair and no front teeth. They're all I want for Christmas...," He stifles a laugh.

"No I can't. I'll never see anything. But I'm alive, so momma says I should grateful," I say quickly in reply.

"Maybe that's a good thing though, because then you can make up your own world, and paint it in your mind. I wish I could do that, it would be more interesting than this one," He speaks slowly.

"I want to see though, because then I could play hide and seek with you. I'm not very fun Edward, but you can stick around if you like," I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear.

"You're already more interesting than any other gal I've ever spoken to _Blind Bella_. If you want to see the world, I'll tell you about it," Suddenly a warm figure plonked himself beside me.

"I'd like that _all-I-want-for-Christmas-is-my-two-front-teeth_ Edward," With that he began.

"Well I'll start with the sky, its blue. The colour you feel when you're sad, but it's filled with white fluffy things called clouds. The look how cotton wool feels and it's filled with birds that can fly. They have wings...I wish I had wings. So then I could _fly away.._.," He continued like this till the sun went down and our parents where frantic with worry.

_Suddenly I could see the world in every colour imaginable. Although I wasn't sure it was because of Edwards's descriptive beautiful words, or the fact I'd finally found a new friend who made me feel like I was walking on air._


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes things happen. Bad things or good things; but they all have a purpose in the grander scheme of things. I've learnt in life that with the good things comes some bad things, which you will always remember because at one point in your life they affected you in such a way, that words cannot express.

Life is filled with memories. Sad ones, happy ones.

Some memories mark a tragedy. This is the hardest memory. The fact that life did something to you that was unexpected and that you cannot change god's will or whatever controls fate, to manipulate it to your liking.

The memory of the life we once lived is never easy to look back on, but sometimes it is ultimately what has to be done to change the present.

This is me remembering. Remembering what brought me to this day.

This was the day that things changed.

This was the day an event occurred, ultimately that changed the course of my life.

For better, or for worse, I will never know for certain.

The day began with Alice tugging at my hair and tickling at my face with make-up brushes. She claimed she was making me look 'beautiful' for the prom tonight, but in all honestly, she could've been making me look like a clown.

"Alice...seriously. I really don't care how I look. You know I hate all this stuff anyway. I can't see how I look anyway, so I could look like a complete freak," I stomped my foot on the ground...me and my fiery temper.

"Bella Swan. I'm your _best _friend. You _have_ to let me have some fun. By the way, no one _ever _dressed by me, looks like a 'complete freak'. You look amazing. Edward is going to DIE when he see's you," Her high pitched soprano echoed in my ears.

I recalled the memory of when Edward asked me to Prom.

_(Flashback from two days previously) _

_We were sitting on the quad eating lunch, against the old oak tree where I met him all those years ago. He was feeding me different flavoured jellybeans and I was guessing what kind they were. Suddenly he began throwing them at me, and I half-heartedly attempted to throw some back._

"_Hey Bella, for a blind girl you have pretty good aim, you hit me in the face!" He laughed in his husky tone of voice. _

"_Serves you right Mr Edward Mason, you're messing with the wrong girl!" I joined in with his laughter._

_He then proceeded to tickle me and I began screaming with laughter._

"_STOP, STOP, STOP!" I yelled, and eventually, he did._

"_So Bella, I was thinking...you know about the whole Lily Lovelace thing? Well she asked me to... prom," he stated._

_Lily Lovelace, the prettiest girl in the school...apparently. I wouldn't know, but I could tell from her bitchy attitude and her annoying high pitched squeal- that she was a typical high school plastic. _

"_Oooooh, get in there Edward. You must be quite something, from what I've heard about Lily...she likes the attractive guys," A pang of jealously hit me in the stomach._

_Why was I jealous? Edward and me where just best friends. That's all we'd ever be, and I had to expect that._

"_Well I don't want to go with her. So I was wondering...would you like to go with me? Just to you know...get her and her friends off my back, and of course...because I would much rather go with you...I mean...if you want to...Bella...say something...anything?" For the first time in forever Edward Mason sounded...nervous._

"_Yeah...," I said, trying to sound cool "Yeah, I'd love to Edward. Although I can't dance all that well," I said shyly. _

"_No problem, I can," He said back simply. _

_(Flashback over)_

"Shut up Alice, I'm just doing him a favour. I mean I'm sure he just doesn't want to go with Lily...I'm just a decoy, so stop getting so excited!" I replied back angrily.

"You are NOT a decoy Bella. He likes you, as in...like...likes...you," I almost see the imaginary grin exploding on her face in my mind's eye.

"Stop it Alice. I sometimes wonder if you're mentally stable," I laughed and she soon began laughing along with me.

_(Three hours later)_

I met Edward at the doors of the school and Alice kindly escorted me along with her boyfriend Jasper.

"Wow Bella, you look..._amazing_," Edward muttered nervously.

"Why thank you Edward Mason," I spoke back confidently.

He escorted me up the familiar steps of the school and soon enough we could hear the loud booming noises coming from the schools assembly hall. The music was modern and I could tell there was a smoke machine from the disgusting smell.

For the rest of the night I stood on Edward's feet and he swirled me around and around and we laughing like complete kids over stupid things. It felt amazing in his arms; although I wish they were wrapped around mine because they wanted to be there. We stopped for a photograph and I smiled, and tried to gaze at the camera, but I had no idea where it was in all honestly.

While slow dancing Edward whispered in my ear...

"Bella, I'm having such a great time with you," He sounded genuine.

"I've wanted to tell you something for a long time. Ever since the minute I set my eyes on you," He says slowly.

My heart pounds furiously.

"I...blah...blah..." Is all I heard.

"What?" I said quickly.

I am suddenly shoved out of the way.

I hear the sound of Lily's friends swarming Edward.

"I'll tell you later Bella. I'm sorry," He shouted.

Alice quickly grabbed my arm.

"Can we go to the toilets Alice? I need a minute," I said quickly. I felt betrayed; although it wasn't Edward's fault that he had a giant fan-club.

"I'll wait here. You can manage, yeah?" She said quickly.

"Yes, I can. I may be blind, but I have been using the school loo for years," I said, then stuck my tongue out at her.

I entered through the first door when I heard my name being said.

"That Bella girl is so, URG. Edward is mine. He is so beautiful, erotic, and his face is amazing. His bronze hair...and _that_ torso...he should be an underwear model with a body like _that_. Why the hell would he even look at that _ugly,_ blind girl? I mean a _beautiful_ guy like him should be with a _stunning _girl like _me_! She has no future with him, I mean she can't even see. It's _disgusting_; I mean...did I mention how _ugly_ she is? Why is she even allowed to go to public school? She should be put into a _mental institute_ or a_ blind school._ It's disgusting how he only looks at her...I mean look at me. What has she got that I haven't? _Nothing_," Lily Lovelace continued in her nasally drawl.

"She's too ugly to function. She should just kill herself or something...come on lets go. I will have him by tonight..._and that blind bitch won't know what's hit her_," she then exited the door.

She gasped as she saw me.

"You heard that...opsy. My bad," she said, then pushed me through the door.

I fell flat on my face beside Alice.

No one could have hurt me more if they had stabbed me in the chest.

_What future do I have? I'm worthless._

So then I ran.

I ran from _her_, I ran from _Edward._

I ran from _everything._

Out from the school I continued to run, and even though I couldn't see, I could feel the wind against my face, and the tears staining my brand new dress.

_I heard the car before I felt the impact._


End file.
